Holding Back

     So a few months ago, in school, I was doing this project on self control. I had to work on this character for 2 weeks. During this time I had an experience that taught me just how hard it is to control words in certain situations...

     It’s funny how God teaches us what we need to learn ... just at the moment that’s right. Only at His time... So, as I was practicing this character I had a girl that I know get mad at me for a miscommunication that I had with a different friend. She was kind of rude to me, and all I wanted to do was explain myself, and tell her what happened. Every time I tried to tell my side, she wouldn’t listen, and she would throw a rude or “smart” remark back. And she was budding herself in a situation that had no concern over her, and in the end I found out she was jealous of this other friendship that I had. 

     It was bugging me and upsetting me that I couldn’t defend myself, and no one was there to defend me either. This quickly turned to bitterness inside of me toward her, I felt she was taking one of my best friends away, and couldn’t do anything. 

James 1:19-20 says:

     My dear brothers and sisters: remember, everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 

     I want to honor God in all I do. Do all things for the glory of The Lord. Everything. As this bible verse says, having anger does not please God. It’s not the righteousness He desires from us. I want Godly desires to be in my heart, I didn’t want to be angry at this girl, and I really didn’t want it to get worse, where it would have turned into hatred because I was getting angry, it took all my might, not to write her back every time she threw a sarcastic comment at me.

Proverbs 16:32 says: 

     Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self control than one who takes a city.

     Instead of having my say in, I was being calm an patient, and trying to let it blow over. I didn’t want to be mad at her, only because she was friends with one of my best friends, And I didn’t want to get my friend mad, or hurt him. So one night I was really upset about all that had gone down, and had to take myself out of a conversation I was having with this girl, and not respond to her. I went to my room and just listened to some upbeat Christian music. I didn’t really want to, I wanted to finish talking to her and tell her what I thought ... but I knew that wasn’t the best idea, and it definitely wouldn’t have helped long term. 

     While I was having my quiet time, I was reminded of the saying-- “sticks and stone will break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? Well, you know, sticks and stones hurt hen they are thrown at you, but the mark will go away fairly quickly, words, leave a mark, that are there forever. Words can hurt. Words will hurt. Even though we can pretend that it doesn’t, words will always have that mark, whether good or bad. So learning from all this, I have to remember that I have to be careful with what I say. The bible says we have the power to bring life or death with our words. 

Remember that even if we don’t think its rude, maybe we say it in a joking way, or whatever, people might take it differently, and they can take it as rude or hurtful. Once we say something, we can’t take it back. It’s there forever. We can ask for forgiveness but with or with out, those words will always be remembered. Words sear the heart, so be careful with what you say. 

2 Peter 1:5-6 says:

     For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith- goodness; to your goodness- knowledge; to your knowledge- self control; to your self control- perseverance; and to your perseverance- godliness.

    

     Knowledge is the wisdom of knowing what to say, and when to say it. The knowing of where the line is, and self control is having the control not cross that line. Self control is something that has to be worked on everyday and used in every situation, practicing it when someone gives a nasty comment. Don’t let it effect you. As well as switched around, practice building people up! Give more positive compliments and encourage one another. So your not putting yourself in the situation I was in. So try encouraging a family member or friend a day!